Forget about Sleep, the Night is a Time for R-E-S-T

Ever found yourself staring at the ceiling in the dead of night, stressing about not being able to sleep? You’re not alone. In the US, we often see nighttime wakefulness as a sign of something wrong, a glitch in our sleep system. But guess what? Waking up at night is actually a normal, essential part of sleep.

Everyone experiences nighttime awakenings, though they’re often so brief we don’t notice them. Research into modern-day hunter-gatherers — who mirror our ancestors’ sleep patterns — reveals they are awake about 30–40% of the night. Even the most efficient sleepers among us spend at least 10% of the night awake.

Our problem isn’t the wakefulness itself but how we react to it. Conditioned to see it as abnormal, we panic. This panic activates our sympathetic nervous system, which in turn makes us even more awake, ready to face non-existent threats (like the fear of not sleeping).

This is where the R-E-S-T exercise comes in. Designed to help calm your mind and body, it won’t necessarily put you to sleep but will help you relax, making sleep more likely if your brain decides it needs more sleep.

Over time, you can learn to embrace and even enjoy these nocturnal wakeful moments. Once you stop stressing, you’ll discover that nighttime wake-ups can be beneficial: they offer a chance to reflect on your dreams, empty your bladder, enjoy snuggling with your partner, write down to-do’s or tasks that came out of the unconscious while you were asleep, or even adjust your room temperature by opening or closing the window. When your thoughts start spiraling again into stress, that’s your cue to go through R-E-S-T.

Even if you don’t fall back asleep, you’ll often find you feel surprisingly refreshed the next day. Accepting that wakefulness is a normal part of sleep can transform your nights from stressful to restful.

Try R-E-S-Ting:

• RESPIRE — Take TEN 4–7–8 (or 4–4–4–4) breaths.
• ENGAGE — What am I thinking? What am I feeling? Tell yourself, “Even though I am feeling X, I still deserve to be able to rest”.
• SQUEEZE — Squeeze hands, feet, face, hold and breathe in, breathe out and release.
• TRANSFORM — Refocus your thoughts with: Full Progressive Muscle Relaxation, Leaves on a Stream, Visualize a place from the past. The goal is to find something to do with your mind which is pleasant and relaxing and helps you pass the time in a way that is enjoyable.
• If you are still feeling very aroused, read (ideally with an amber-tint booklight), listen to audio content, or get out of bed until sleepy again.
• Repeat this process each time you are frustrated by nighttime wakefulness.

(NOTE: Prolonged nighttime wakefulness often stems from spending more time in bed than your body actually needs to sleep. When we’re stressed or anxious (even just about not sleeping), our sympathetic nervous system kicks into gear, leading to shorter, lighter sleep. To counter this, reduce your time in bed to match your current sleep needs and work on calming your sympathetic nervous system. While R-E-S-T helps with the latter, combining it with sleep compression and creating an evening worry list can be even more effective.)

By embracing these strategies, you can transform your relationship with nighttime wakefulness, moving from a place of frustration to one of restful acceptance. Remember, the goal isn’t perfect sleep but a peaceful night, awake or asleep.